Dirty Dan was not good enough at impressions to make it in the real estate business. He had the best pens, the ones that never sniffled, but it did no good. He even tried coke, but the wind would always blow the lines to bird goop off the fire escape. He might do it inside, but the open pipes damped so the powder turned to lumps too muscled to swallow with an average man 's nostrils. And the customers wanted a real estate agent that felt like home. Dan wished home wasn 't the same to everyone, and that it might feel like a drug he could smoke, rather than sniff.